A little of me

Can I or Can't I ?

Published on September 23, 2006 By Aliciajob In Life Journals

Sometimes I write it down on my daily note, sometimes I just type it on my computer and this is how I record my life. Today I felt like typing down it.

I went out to see a movie with Maggie and her boyfriend, yeah...Her good friend and lover are with her...great, right? But I didn't feel ok, I felt no good of her boyfriend anyway. So I left early after the movie. I discovered one thing what kind of person u are and then what kind of person u be with.

I got no feeling of the movie today, don't know why. Suddenly I was like a person who lost one's feeling to everything.

Maybe I got something in mind.

I will graduate next year, work or further study? Definitely study! I always wanna do something of helping others in hospitals. But I can surely tell u I cannot make it in Taiwan where are some policy stuff and government intervention, that's why nurses wanna work oversea to get their higher reward and real respect.

Real respect? Well...once my teacher asked me that "do u think our nurses really respect to one another?"Sigh...if so, I won't wanna get away.

My future...I have been thinking of that thousands of hundreds times. What comes out? Nothing...Just a little hint. I just know that I wanna do something good to people, I wanna make something great to the world and that's it. Nothing more.

Seeing that my superiors are all going to further study in Taiwan and they are telling me how great the new university is, even they ask me if I wanna stay here longer. Well...I have thought of that, but it's like a little voice that don't know from where telling me that don't just stay here, to do something more.

So...why I wanna be a nurse, don't really know...My grandma got terrible sick in a hospital. The nurse was giving her a shot when I went to watch my grandma, I was about 7 years old. I was so mad at the nurse who saw the enduring face of my grandma while she was taking the insulin needle.
I thought if I were her to do the shot, my grandma had no pain! <=silly huh?
I swear that I wanna be a nurse some day and take care of my love ones in the deep of my little heart.
That's why I am studying nursing till now.
Will I keep my dream going? Don't really know...I will be doing it till my passion gone.

Sometimes I think I am not the person who wanna be a nurse, I was controlled by something or someone that I never know. Sometimes I really wanna quit, I feel frustrating of doing this, but...always...a little little voice will show up and tell me: u are not going to end here, u got many things to do. Weird, huh? So weird for me.

My friends are all for me? Yes or No doesn't really matter. This is my goal and I am going to make it by my own.
So first I need to improve my English and pass an international exam like TOEFL ...ect, then I need to work on my major and get my license. But But But...it's always easy to say but hard to do.

I am in fear, in insecurity, I am not sure if I can make it, but I am trying...always trying. Life is so hard....I hope I can make it...

I read a book yesterday and the author said if life give you trash, then stand upon above it, u can be in the apex of world. Kinda cool for me.

Well...if praying works, plz let me score my goal.

Comments

jennifer1

on Sep 23, 2006

wishing you luck to reach your goal of nursing.

Aliciajob

on Oct 12, 2006

MasonM

on Oct 12, 2006

foreverserenity

on Oct 16, 2006

I hope you make it! Good luck and prayers do work!

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